Selfishness

I sometimes wonder why we do what we do.  I know certain choices have consequences and yet I dont try to make adjustments.  I guess when you focus on yourself that is what you get.  There is a part of me that thinks I will always be a selfish lonely person.  There is also a part of me, a part of me that realizes that I cant fix my self.  That part of me believes that God has an incredible plan for my life.  I have gotten so lost in my selfish desires that I have lost sight of the God who created me.  The God who knows me and understands me, the God who never gives up on me.  Why do I run away from the God who loves me?  Why do I try to fix my life when I know I can't?  I know that money and possessions wont make me happy but yet I always think i can find something other than God that will solve all my problems.  Im not sure how to stand up and say "I will lose this battle no more"!!!  I guess i am still trying to figure it out on my own.  Help me Jesus.  Help me to see you in the midst of my selfishness!  I am nothing without you!  I need you, Jesus!  You are so unbelievable!  Thank you for your Grace and Mercy, your love and kindness.  You are truly an Awesome God!!!